Tag: Captain Anderson

  • Chapter 5

    Shepard

    Shepard hit the ground running as the shuttle touched down on Eden Prime, boots sinking slightly into the scorched earth. The colony had been hit hard—fires smoldered in the distance, smoke curling against the sky, and the air was thick with the acrid scent of burning metal and ozone.

    Her comm crackled to life. “Shepard, keep your guard up. The colony got hit hard.”
    Nihlus’ voice came through, steady but clipped. Professional. Too professional.

    “Copy that, Spectre. We’ll check in soon,” Shepard replied, signaling her team forward.

    She knew this was how he worked—always one step ahead, always scouting alone. But something in the way he’d rushed off without a word grated more than it should have. Maybe it was whatever this was between them. Maybe it was the secret he’d kept about the beacon. Or maybe… she was just tired of being left in the dark.

    Jenkins broke formation slightly ahead, moving fast.

    Damn it, Jenkins.

    They barely made it past the first ridge before encountering resistance. Geth drones. A quick, brutal firefight erupted—but it was over in moments, before she could pull Jenkins back.

    The quiet that followed hit harder than it should have.

    Shepard lowered her weapon and stepped closer, eyes catching the crumpled form of the eager young soldier. He’d been itching for action. She’d told him—warned him—to rein it in.

    Kaidan was already kneeling beside him, checking vitals. Futile.

    Shepard exhaled slowly, masking the frustration and flicker of guilt behind a soldier’s calm.

    “We’ll see that he receives a proper service once the mission is complete,” she said, placing a steady hand on Kaidan’s shoulder. “But for now, I need you to stay focused.”

    “Aye, aye, ma’am,” he nodded.

    Then, another transmission cut in, Nihlus’ voice taut over the comm. “Shepard, I’ve come across a lot of dead bodies over the hill. This wasn’t just an attack—it was a massacre. Stay sharp.”

    Shepard’s steps slowed. She clenched her jaw, eyes scanning the horizon.
    “Understood. We’ll keep moving.”

    She didn’t like the sound of his voice—flat, terse, more than usual. Something was wrong. The silence that followed the transmission only made it worse. “Nihlus…?”

    “Commander?” His voice returned, steady, but she could hear the concern beneath it.

    “Just—be careful.”

    There was a pause—brief, but deliberate. When his voice came back, it had softened, just slightly. “Don’t worry about me. Stay focused.”

    Something in her chest eased, just a fraction. He’d heard her. Not Commander Shepard giving orders—just her, worried about him.

    She exhaled. “Copy that.”

    They pressed forward, weaving through blackened fields and collapsed buildings. Fires flickered in doorways and vents, casting long shadows. The deeper they went, the worse the destruction grew. Smoke stung the back of her throat. Somewhere under it all, her instincts itched like a warning. Something was off.

    Another ridge, another firefight—this time heavier. More geth, better armed. Shepard barked orders, fell into rhythm with Kaidan, but part of her attention was elsewhere.

    Where the hell are you, Nihlus?

    Gunfire rang out just ahead. Over the next hill, a soldier sprinted for cover under a barrage of plasma fire. The woman dove and rolled, returning fire with sharp, practiced bursts. She moved like she knew what she was doing—like she’d done this before.

    Shepard stepped out from cover, rifle raised. Two geth had turned toward the soldier—after impaling what looked like a civilian on some sort of metal spike. The final drone dropped under a coordinated burst from Shepard and Kaidan.

    The soldier—bruised, winded, but still standing—straightened and offered a crisp salute. “Thanks for the assist, Commander. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212.”

    Shepard returned the gesture with a short nod. “Report.”

    Ashley gave a quick, grim summary—how the geth had descended without warning, how her unit was wiped out before they could regroup. She mentioned the Prothean dig site nearby, and offered to lead the way.

    They advanced once more, picking their way through scorched corridors and a narrow path that led toward the excavation site. Equipment lay half-buried in the dirt—crates overturned, consoles cracked and sparking, and a layer of fine dust that hadn’t settled yet.

    But no beacon.

    Shepard crouched beside the central console, frowning at the data readouts. Someone had moved it. Recently.

    She tapped her comm. “Captain, the beacon’s gone. Looks like it was relocated.”

    Before Anderson could reply, Nihlus cut in. “Change of plans. I’m heading to a small spaceport nearby. Meet me there.”

    Shepard rose fast. “Nihlus—wait. We’re close. We can—”

    But the line had already gone dead.

    She stared at the comm for a moment longer than she meant to, jaw set.

    “Ma’am?” Kaidan asked, already shifting into motion.

    She blinked, nodded once. “Let’s go. Now.”

    She motioned to Kaidan and Ashley to move out, urgency settling in the pit of her stomach.

    She didn’t like the tone of Nihlus’ voice—too focused, too flat. She hadn’t known him long, but long enough to recognize the subtle shift. He was on edge. She hadn’t seen him like this on any of their previous missions.

    And if whatever he’d seen was enough to make him not wait for backup—
    then it was worse than she wanted to imagine.

    As they fought through the outskirts of the spaceport, dread began to settle in. There were too many geth and no sign of Nihlus anywhere. No communication. If he had made it here, she imagined the geth would be down by now.

    Then, as she walked closer, her breath caught. It was Nihlus—on the ground.

    No…

    Without warning or hesitation, she took off running, dropping to one knee beside him. His breathing was shallow, his mandibles barely twitching. Blood slicked his armor, pooling beneath him in a slow, terrible spread.

    “Nihlus,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper, pressing a hand lightly to his shoulder, as if her touch could keep him here a little longer.

    His eyes found hers, the sharp edges of his gaze softened by something she couldn’t quite name. “Shepard…” His voice was weak, and yet, it still carried that same surety. “There’s more to this… I just didn’t see it soon enough.”

    Shepard swallowed, shaking her head. “We’ll get you out of here—”

    “No,” he interrupted, reaching for her hand, exhaling slowly. His gaze softened, searching hers for something unspoken. “Thank you… for everything. For us.”

    She grasped his hand, squeezing gently, as if sheer willpower could save him. “You don’t have to thank me. We’re not done yet—”

    His fingers twitched, the faintest movement in his mandibles. “We are. But you…” He took a shallow breath, the effort visible. “You still have a mission. Finish it.”

    Shepard clenched her jaw, nodding once, but she couldn’t keep it from her eyes—the way they burned, the way her breath hitched just slightly.

    “There was something here, Nihlus,” she said quietly, her voice barely steady. “It wasn’t just a good night.”

    His gaze lingered for a fraction longer, something like relief flickering in his dimming eyes. His fingers twitched once more—then went still.

    She held onto his hand until the last trace of strength faded from his grip.

    And then, he was gone.

    She stayed there a moment longer, frozen in place. Her shoulders rose with a slow, trembling breath. She blinked hard, once, twice, until the burn in her eyes dulled, until she could breathe again.

    Only then did she move.

    She pressed her lips into a hard line, reached for his pistol—the weight of it grounding her for a moment as she secured it to her belt. Sentimentality, maybe. But she couldn’t leave it behind.

    A shuffling noise came from behind a nearby crate. Shepard’s hand snapped to her weapon as Ashley moved up, rifle trained ahead. “Whoever’s back there, come out! Hands where we can see them!”

    A man stepped forward slowly, hands raised. “Whoa, whoa! Easy there! Name’s Powell—I work here. Or I did, before… all this.”

    Shepard kept her weapon low but ready. “You saw what happened here?”

    Powell’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Yeah. I saw what happened to your friend. There was another turian here before you. He and Nihlus knew each other—or at least, Nihlus seemed to recognize him. Relaxed around him. Called him… Saren, I think?” He swallowed again, voice trembling. “Then, just as Nihlus turned away, Saren shot him in the back. No hesitation. Just—bam.”

    Something inside Shepard went cold, sharp, immediate. Her jaw tensed so hard it hurt.

    “Saren did this?”

    Powell’s hands shook. “I swear, I’m not making this up. I barely got away before he and the geth left. He was talking about the beacon, something about it ‘not being here.’ I didn’t stick around to hear the rest.”

    Shepard exhaled slowly, not trusting her voice for a moment.

    Anger surged up her spine—clean, blinding, ready to tear through anything in its path. She pressed it down. Not now. Not here.

    She forced her tone into something steady, something her team could follow.
    “We still have a job to do,” she said, and it was as much a command to herself as it was to Kaidan and Ashley. “We find that beacon.”

    The push through the spaceport was brutal—more geth, heavier fire, the entire place were trying to keep her from moving forward. Each shot, each explosion landed against the raw edge of her grief, sharpening it.

    When they finally reached the beacon, Shepard tapped her comms. “Normandy, the beacon is secure. Request immediate evac.”

    There was a pause, then Joker’s voice came through, tinny but steady. “Copy that. And Commander, we’ve had no word from Nihlus on our end. Captain wants to know if he’s with you.”

    Shepard’s jaw tightened, but her voice stayed level. “Nihlus… and Jenkins didn’t make it.”

    Joker hesitated for a beat. “Well… shit. Sorry, Commander. Shuttle en route—ETA four minutes.”

    “Roger, Normandy. Standing by.”

    She turned, scanning the area—only to catch a flicker of movement in the corner of her vision. Kaidan, stepping closer to the artifact, curiosity etched across his features.

    Her pulse jumped. “Kaidan—back off!” she barked, already surging forward.

    The beacon flared to life before he could react, its glow wrapping around him in a flickering corona of light. Shepard lunged without hesitation, grabbing his armor and yanking him back.

    But the energy twisted, recoiling from him and turning on her instead. Heat slammed into her, followed by light and a sudden, impossible gravity. Her breath caught in her chest, her limbs locking as the pull intensified.

    Then came the visions.

    Fire. Metal. Screaming stars. A galaxy unraveling in silence.

    Pain tore through her skull, sharp and endless. The world fractured.

    And then… nothing.


    Shepard

    Shepard’s consciousness drifted in and out, a dull throbbing in her skull pulling her toward wakefulness. The sterile scent of antiseptic filled her nose, the quiet hum of the Normandy’s med bay humming in the background. When she finally managed to open her eyes, she found Dr. Chakwas standing over her, datapad in hand, a familiar look of quiet concern on her face.

    “Easy, Commander,” Chakwas said, setting the datapad aside. “You’ve been out for a while. How do you feel?”

    Shepard took a slow breath, blinking to clear the haze in her vision. “Like I got hit by a damn cruiser.”

    Chakwas gave a small, knowing smile. “Not far off, considering. The beacon did something to you. I ran scans—nothing immediately life-threatening, but you were unconscious for quite some time.”

    Shepard hesitated, shifting against the cool sheets. “What exactly did it do to me?”

    Chakwas sighed. “That’s the part I don’t have an answer to yet. Whatever it was, it didn’t leave a clear trace. But your brain activity spiked in ways I’ve never seen before—almost like it was trying to process something beyond normal comprehension.”

    Shepard exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair. “Great. Another mystery.”

    Chakwas hesitated for a moment before setting her datapad down on the counter. “Shepard,” she said, her tone quieter now. “How are you?”

    Shepard frowned slightly. “I already told you, I—”

    “I don’t mean physically,” Chakwas interrupted gently. “I heard about Nihlus.”

    Shepard stilled. It shouldn’t have surprised her—Chakwas was nothing if not observant, and she had been one of the few people who knew. Still, hearing it said aloud felt like pressing on a wound she hadn’t even had time to acknowledge.

    “I don’t know what to feel,” Shepard admitted after a long pause. “Angry. Confused. I barely even know how this happened, and now it’s over before I could figure it out.”

    Chakwas nodded, stepping a little closer. “That’s grief, Shepard. Just because it wasn’t long, doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. You don’t have to push it down.”

    Shepard clenched her jaw, forcing herself to steady her breathing. “I can’t afford to fall apart. Not now. I have to focus.”

    Chakwas studied her for a long moment before sighing. “Alright. But if you ever need to talk… you know where to find me.”

    Before Shepard could respond, the med bay doors slid open with a quiet hiss.

    “Commander,” Captain Anderson’s voice cut through the quiet as he stepped inside. “I need to speak with you.”

    Chakwas gave Shepard a final assessing look before nodding and stepping away. Shepard swung her legs over the side of the bed, muscles aching in protest as Anderson stopped in front of her, his expression grim. “This doesn’t look good. The Council is going to see Nihlus’ death and the destruction of the beacon as a serious failure.”

    He paused, then turned his full attention to Shepard. “Are you alright?”

    Shepard blinked, caught off guard by the question. The timing seemed odd, given the gravity of the situation. “I’m fine. Just a headache.”

    Anderson’s expression remained steady, studying her for a moment longer than necessary—like he was looking for something beyond physical injury. But he let it go. “We’re en route to the Citadel now. The Council needs to be briefed. But don’t expect them to take our side easily.”

    He crossed his arms. “Saren is a living legend. One of the most experienced Spectres in the galaxy, and the Council will protect him. They won’t just take our word for what happened on Eden Prime.”

    Shepard frowned. “Why? He was there. He killed Nihlus. That should be enough.”

    Anderson exhaled. “It won’t be. Saren hates humans, Shepard. He always has. He opposed humanity joining from the start, and he’s made no secret of his belief that we don’t belong in galactic politics. The Council will give him the benefit of the doubt before they ever listen to us.”

    Shepard’s fists clenched in frustration. “So what do we do?”

    “We find proof,” Anderson said simply. “Something undeniable.”

    With that, Anderson turned to leave. Shepard remained seated for a moment longer before exhaling and pushing herself off the bed. The moment she stepped out of the med bay, she knew where she needed to go.

    Her quarters were quiet, dimly lit by the glow of the ship’s systems. She sank onto the bed, running a hand over her face before leaning back against the pillow. Silence pressed around her, but her mind refused to still.

    Nihlus.

    She hadn’t let herself dwell on it before, not when there was a mission to finish, but now, here in her quarters, she couldn’t push it away. She thought of the other night—of the easy comfort between them, the quiet understanding that had settled there before either of them had spoken a word. Even then, he had been caring in a way she hadn’t expected. In a way, she imagined, he hadn’t expected either.

    She had noticed the way he watched her, like he was trying to piece together something just out of reach. She had noticed the hesitation, the curiosity, the way he weighed his words before he spoke. And she had wondered—how was this going to play out.

    She had agreed to try. She had known, even then, that it was unlikely to last. Seeing each other only every few weeks or months would have made things difficult, maybe even impossible. But at least it would have been something real. At least they would have been a good memory.

    Now, there would always be the what-ifs.

    Her mind drifted back to his final moments, the way his eyes had softened, the flicker of relief when she had told him there was something here. Then she thought of some of the last words he had managed before the light left him: “Thank you… for everything. For us.”

    She hadn’t thought about what those words meant at the time, but now… now she wondered if she had given him peace, even in the end.

    And as much as she tried to keep her emotions in check, she felt something simmering beneath it all. Anger. Frustration. Maybe even grief. Not just for Nihlus, but for the chance they had barely begun to explore. He had trusted the wrong person. And now he was gone.

    She turned onto her side, staring at the far wall of her quarters, jaw tight.

    She would find proof. She would bring Saren down.

    And she would make sure Nihlus wasn’t just another name lost in the void.


    Shepard

    The Normandy arrived at the Citadel late in the evening, its approach illuminated by the station’s sprawling skyline. Shepard barely acknowledged the sight, her thoughts distant as she stepped off the docking bay and into the quiet bustle of the Presidium. She had told Anderson she would report in the morning—tonight, she had somewhere else she needed to be.

    Sarah Shepard’s residence was in one of the quieter districts of the upper wards, a place of understated elegance rather than ostentatious wealth. Shepard paused briefly before keying in the code that had never changed since she was a child. The door slid open with a soft hiss, and the familiar scent of old books and faintly spiced tea wrapped around her like a worn but comforting blanket.

    “I was wondering when you’d stop sulking outside,” came a voice from the sitting room.

    Shepard exhaled a short laugh and stepped inside, finding her grandmother reclining in a plush chair, a cup of tea cradled in her hands. Despite her years, Sarah Shepard still carried herself with the quiet authority of a woman who had spent a lifetime navigating the complexities of politics and power. Her sharp green eyes, so much like Jane’s, studied her over the rim of the cup.

    “Come here, girl. Let me look at you.”

    Shepard sighed but obeyed, stepping forward until Sarah took one of her hands, squeezing it lightly. The gesture was simple, but it carried with it a lifetime of understanding. Shepard had sat with her so many times before—frustrated with her parents, complaining about duty, when she and Sean broke up, confiding things she couldn’t tell anyone else. And now, without saying a word, Sarah already knew.

    “Something happened,” her grandmother said softly.

    Shepard swallowed, suddenly feeling that tightness in her throat again, the one she had pushed down since leaving Eden Prime. “Yeah. Something happened.”

    Sarah let go of her hand and gestured to the couch. “Sit. Start from the beginning.”

    Shepard hesitated for just a moment before sinking onto the couch, resting her elbows on her knees. “I met a Spectre,” she began. “A turian. Nihlus Kryik.”

    Sarah lifted a brow but said nothing, waiting.

    “We… had something. I don’t even know what to call it. It was new, and it wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but—” Shepard exhaled sharply, shaking her head. “It did. Maybe it did. I don’t know.”

    Her grandmother didn’t react immediately, letting her speak, letting her sort through the tangle of emotions she had been refusing to acknowledge.

    “We spent time together. Talked. Sparred. I noticed the way he watched me, the way he tried to figure me out. And I let him. He was careful, thoughtful in ways I don’t think he even expected himself to be. I agreed to try—to see where it would go, even though we both knew it wouldn’t be easy. But now… now I don’t even get to know how it would’ve ended.”

    Shepard’s voice grew quieter. “He was killed on Eden Prime.”

    Sarah set her cup down gently. “I see.”

    Shepard swallowed, shaking her head. “I barely knew him. Not really. Not the way that should make this feel like… like I lost something real. But I do. I feel it. And I keep telling myself it’s ridiculous, that it was too soon for it to mean anything.”

    Sarah sighed, leaning forward to rest a hand over hers. “Jane, love doesn’t have to be long-lived to be real. And grief isn’t measured in time—it’s measured in loss. You lost someone who could have been something to you, and that is enough.”

    Shepard looked away, her jaw tightening. “It just feels selfish. We didn’t have enough time. He’s barely gone, and I don’t even know what I’m mourning.”

    Sarah squeezed her hand. “You’re mourning what could have been. That’s just as real. You cared for him, even if you didn’t love him yet. That’s enough. You’re allowed to feel this, Jane.”

    Shepard didn’t reply immediately, just stared at the floor, shoulders tense. Then, slowly, she exhaled, the weight in her chest loosening just enough.

    “Yeah,” she murmured. “Maybe I am.”

    Sarah gave her a knowing look and patted her knee before rising from her seat. “Get comfortable, Jane. I’ll fetch some tea.”

    Shepard hesitated for a moment, then sighed and kicked off her boots. She tucked her legs up onto the couch, leaning into its familiar cushions. The quiet, the warmth of home settled around her like a well-worn blanket. She blinked rapidly, trying to force back the pressure behind her eyes, but the moment she let herself relax, the tears came.

    Silent at first, then steady, rolling down her cheeks before she even realized she was crying.

    By the time Sarah returned, a steaming cup of tea in hand, she took one look at Jane and set the cup down on the table before settling next to her. Without a word, she reached out and gently guided Jane’s head down onto her shoulder, rubbing slow circles on her back.

    “It’s alright to feel this way, Jane,” Sarah murmured. “You can’t keep this in forever. Let it out.”

    Shepard didn’t respond, but her breath hitched, and she pressed her face into her grandmother’s shoulder as the weight of everything finally crashed over her. The mission, Nihlus, the grief she had refused to acknowledge—it all came spilling out in quiet sobs that she barely had the strength to contain.

    Sarah held her close, patient as ever, staying with her until exhaustion finally took over. Jane fell asleep curled against her, the faint scent of spiced tea lingering in the air as the quiet night settled around them.


    Shepard

    Shepard woke with a start, blinking against the soft glow of the lights filtering through the curtains. She was in her bed, she realized belatedly. She didn’t remember getting here. The last thing she recalled was breaking down in the sitting room, her grandmother’s arms wrapped around her as exhaustion finally took its toll.

    She took a slow breath, pushing back the lingering heaviness in her chest, then forced herself to rise. After dressing in clean fatigues, she made her way downstairs, following the scent of freshly brewed coffee.

    The dining room was already set, breakfast laid out with the quiet efficiency that only years of well-trained staff could maintain. Sarah sat at the table, poised as ever, a cup of tea in hand. The butler approached, setting a plate of food, coffee, and a glass of orange juice before Shepard as she sat.

    Sarah glanced at her over the rim of her cup. “What’s on your schedule today?”

    Shepard picked up her coffee, taking a careful sip before responding. “I’m supposed to meet the Council. I have to give my report on Eden Prime.”

    Sarah’s gaze sharpened. “The Council? Why are they involved?”

    Shepard sighed, setting the cup down. “Nihlus was there to evaluate me for Spectre candidacy. The beacon was lost, and now…” Her fingers tightened slightly around the cup. “Now it’s Saren.”

    Sarah’s expression remained unreadable, but there was something in her eyes that made Shepard pause. “I already pulled the mission reports,” she said smoothly. “I noticed you reported that Saren killed Nihlus.”

    There was something about her tone that made Shepard narrow her eyes. “You know him.”

    “Not personally,” Sarah admitted, setting her cup down gently. “But I know of him. I know what’s in the official reports, and I know what Anderson has told me. And what I know isn’t good. He’s always been ruthless, but this… this I never would have predicted. Killing another Spectre? That’s unprecedented.”

    Shepard exhaled, shaking her head. “I’ll have to deal with that when I face the Council.”

    Sarah nodded, then gave a small smirk. “Then don’t be late.”


    Shepard

    The Citadel Tower loomed ahead as Shepard, Kaidan, and Ashley approached the Council chambers. As they neared the entrance, they spotted two turians deep in discussion, one visibly frustrated, the other speaking with calm insistence.

    “You need to give me more time,” the younger turian said, his tone edged with frustration. “I’m telling you; something isn’t right.”

    The older turian was Executor Pallin—she recognized him from various functions with her grandmother and father over the years. He folded his arms across his chest. “Your investigation is over, Vakarian. We’ve wasted enough resources on this.”

    The younger turian, Vakarian, exhaled sharply as Pallin turned and strode away. He muttered something under his breath before turning, catching sight of Shepard and her team. His mandibles twitched slightly before he straightened and stepped toward them.

    “Commander Shepard, right?” he said, offering a hand. “Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec. I was investigating Saren before they shut me down.”

    Shepard shook his hand, studying him for a moment. There was something… familiar about him, though she couldn’t place it. Like an echo of something half-remembered. She pushed the thought aside. “What makes you so sure Saren’s dirty when no one else seems to be?”

    Garrus exhaled, his tone tinged with frustration. “Something about him has never sat right with me. I don’t trust him. But everything he does is classified. I don’t have the access to get the proof I need.”

    Before Shepard could respond, Kaidan glanced toward the chamber doors. “Commander, the Council is ready for us.”

    Shepard nodded, looking back at Garrus. “Thanks for the insight.”

    Garrus inclined his head. “Good luck in there. You’ll need it.”

    Shepard turned to follow Kaidan and Ashley into the Council chambers, but that nagging sense of familiarity with Garrus lingered in the back of her mind.


    Shepard

    Shepard stood before the Council, jaw clenched, frustration simmering beneath her composed exterior. She had laid out the facts—detailed the attack on Eden Prime, the beacon’s destruction, the geth invasion, and most damning of all, Saren’s presence. She knew the truth. But the Council didn’t want to hear it.

    “This is a serious accusation, Commander,” Tevos said, her voice smooth but firm. “Saren is one of our most respected Spectres. We cannot take action against him based on the word of a single human.”

    “A single human?” Shepard echoed, disbelief creeping into her tone. “He didn’t exactly pull Saren’s name out of a hat. Our witness is a dock worker—he doesn’t have access to Citadel intelligence, he doesn’t have a list of Spectres by name. But he knew Saren’s name. He saw him murder Nihlus. How do you explain that?”

    Sparatus leaned forward, mandibles twitching in irritation. “Your so-called witness is unreliable. A frightened dock worker making wild claims in the heat of chaos—hardly compelling evidence.”

    Shepard’s temper flared. “And yet you have no problem taking Saren’s word at face value? You demand proof when it’s against him, but where was that same standard when Nihlus was murdered? He was one of your own, and you can’t even be bothered to investigate.”

    A tense silence followed her words. Even Udina shifted slightly, surprised at her direct challenge.

    Saren’s voice cut through the chamber, laced with contempt. “Perhaps your frustration is more personal than professional, Commander.”

    Shepard’s sharp gaze snapped to him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

    Saren’s mandibles twitched upward slightly, something akin to amusement in his cold eyes. “You think I don’t see it? Your little… attachment to Nihlus? How unbecoming. It must be difficult to stay objective when emotions are involved.”

    Udina immediately stepped forward. “That’s enough, Saren! You have no right to make baseless accusations simply to disparage Commander Shepard.”

    Tevos frowned, exchanging a look with the other Councilors. “Saren, this line of discussion is irrelevant to the matter at hand. We will disregard any such personal speculation.”

    Saren didn’t reply, merely tilting his head slightly, as if he had already made his point.

    Shepard forced herself to breathe, jaw still tight. She had never wanted to hit someone more in her life.

    Tevos exhaled, as though washing her hands of the matter. “Unless you can provide concrete evidence of Saren’s guilt, we cannot and will not move against him.”

    “Then we’ll find the proof,” Anderson said firmly.

    “This meeting is adjourned.”

    Outside the Council chambers, Shepard clenched her fists, still burning from the exchange. “We need to move fast.”

    “Agreed,” Udina said. “You mentioned running into a C-Sec officer before the hearing—Vakarian? He seemed sure that, with more time, he’d have evidence. If he’s still looking into Saren, he might have something useful.”

    “How do I find him?”

    Udina smirked. “Harkin should know. He’s a C-Sec officer—”

    Anderson sighed. “He got suspended for drinking on the job last month. Harkin’s a disgrace. But if anyone knows where Garrus is, it’ll be him. Just be careful—Chora’s Den isn’t exactly friendly territory.”

    Udina excused himself, leaving Shepard alone with Anderson. She studied him for a moment before speaking, voice quieter now. “What’s your history with Saren?”

    Anderson hesitated, then exhaled heavily. “Twenty years ago, we were on a mission together in the Skyllian Verge. There was a terrorist cell threatening human colonies. We found them, but Saren didn’t care about collateral damage. He killed everyone, civilians included. The official records covered it up. It was one of the reasons I never became a Spectre.”

    Shepard studied him carefully before nodding. “Then we need to stop him before more people die.”

    Anderson pulled her aside, away from Kaidan and Ashley. “Shepard, are you alright? About Nihlus?”

    She stiffened slightly, but didn’t look away. “I’m fine, Captain. We barely knew each other.”

    Anderson nodded, his expression unreadable. “Be careful. I know you want justice for Nihlus, but don’t let your feelings cloud your judgment. And don’t let the Council suspect anything.”

    Shepard exhaled, then nodded. “I can keep my personal feelings out of this.”

    She turned on her heel, making her way toward the Wards, her thoughts restless.

    Nihlus should have been here. He should have been standing beside her, helping her tear down Saren’s lies. Why had Saren killed him? Had Nihlus been in his way? Had he figured something out? Or had he simply trusted the wrong person at the wrong time?

    The thought gnawed at her, anger simmering beneath the surface. Nihlus didn’t trust easily. And yet, he trusted Saren.

    It infuriated her. She knew now, more than ever, that she would bring down Saren.

    For Nihlus.

  • Chapter 4

    Nihlus

    Nihlus woke slowly, his senses reorienting before his mind caught up. The warmth pressed against him wasn’t armor, wasn’t an unfamiliar weight—it was Shepard, her body half-draped over his, her breath steady against his chest.

    His talons traced slow, absent-minded patterns along the bare skin of her back, the motion instinctive. He wasn’t sure how long he had been doing it before realization sank in. This wasn’t how these things usually went.

    Normally, if he ever let himself indulge in the physical, it was precisely that—physical. A way to burn off excess tension, a calculated release before moving on. There was no expectation, no lingering, certainly no staying the night. Yet here he was, still in her bed, still wanting to be here.

    That thought unsettled him, but not enough to make him move.

    He exhaled slowly, studying her in the dim light. He had spent days watching her, learning her habits, assessing her skill. But never had he seen her like this—unguarded, utterly at ease. A part of him marveled at it, at how easily she had trusted him, how naturally she had fit against him in a way that should have been unfamiliar but wasn’t.

    His gaze followed the lines of her face, the faint marks of past battles, the way her hair had come loose from its usual knot, spreading against the pillow. Human features were strange, different, but right now, in this moment, she looked… beautiful.

    The thought caught him off guard.

    What the hell am I doing?

    He should move. He should start thinking ahead, rationalizing, finding the line between what this was and what it wasn’t. But he didn’t. Instead, his fingers traced another idle path along her spine, and he let himself stay just a little longer.

    Then, Shepard stirred.

    She stretched, a slow, languid movement, her muscles shifting under his touch before she blinked her eyes open, looking up at him with a drowsy kind of contentment. She didn’t tense, didn’t immediately shift away, just watched him for a beat before offering a small, knowing smile. “Morning, Spectre.”

    Nihlus huffed, shaking his head. “You’re entirely too comfortable with this.”

    Shepard propped herself up on one elbow, stretching out against him with ease. “I am comfortable. You’re the one thinking too hard.”

    He exhaled sharply, glancing away before murmuring, “It’s not that simple.”

    Shepard studied him, eyes narrowing slightly before softening. She could read him too well, even when he wasn’t speaking. She reached up, fingers trailing lightly along the edge of his jaw. “Then tell me what’s on your mind.”

    For a moment, he considered deflecting, brushing it off, but the words came before he could stop them. “You’re being evaluated.”

    Shepard blinked, her expression shifting from playful to something more serious. “Evaluated?”

    He sighed, finally pulling away slightly, though not enough to push her from him. “I was assigned to this mission for more than just oversight. The Council is considering you for the Spectres.”

    Shepard absorbed this, her expression unreadable for a long moment before she smirked. “And here I thought you just enjoyed surviving on rations surrounded by humans.”

    Nihlus let out a low chuckle despite himself, but the weight of what he had just admitted still hung between them. “I’m the one that put your name forward for Spectre candidacy.”

    Shepard shifted, moving so she was leaning over him, her face close to his, gaze steady. “Is that why you’re thinking so hard about this? About us?”

    He didn’t answer immediately, but she already knew. Shepard was sharp, perceptive in ways he was only beginning to understand. And maybe that’s why, after a beat, she smirked again—not cruel, not dismissive, but understanding.

    “You don’t have to worry so much about this,” she murmured. “It doesn’t have to be complicated. We can just call this what it was—a good night—and leave it at that.”

    An out. She was giving him an out.

    It was the logical thing to do, wasn’t it? To take the easy explanation, the clean break. He should. But did he want to?

    And yet, as he looked at her—as he remembered the way her body had fit against his, the way she had trusted him so effortlessly—he wasn’t sure that was what he wanted.

    Before she could move away, he caught her wrist, his grip firm but careful.

    Shepard’s expression flickered—surprise, maybe, or recalibration. Like she’d expected a different answer and was adjusting course. But she didn’t pull away. She raised an eyebrow, waiting.

    He should let her go, let her keep her easy explanation. But instead, he pulled her back down, his voice low. “I don’t think I want to just leave it at that.”

    Shepard tilted her head slightly, searching his face, her expression unreadable. Then, after a moment, she simply asked, “Then what do you want, Nihlus?”

    His mandibles twitched slightly, his grip on her wrist tightening just enough to betray his hesitation. He knew the answer. It wasn’t uncertainty that kept him silent—it was the war between what he wanted and what he should want. Between duty and something far more personal.

    He exhaled, his voice quieter now. “I don’t know what happens next. But I know this wasn’t meaningless. And I need you to know that too.”

    Shepard studied him for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then, slowly, she shifted, leaning just a little closer, her voice quieter but no less steady. “I hear you. But what I don’t know, Nihlus, is what you want this to be. Because I can take the easy answer if that’s what you need. But if it’s not—if you’re not just saying this to make yourself feel better—then I need to know. Do you want to just walk away from this, or do you want to try?”

    Her words settled heavily between them. A challenge, in a way, though not the kind they usually traded. This wasn’t about winning or losing. This was about choice.

    And for the first time in a long time, Nihlus wasn’t sure he wanted the easy way out.

    His mandibles flicked slightly, a rare tell of uncertainty. He let out a slow breath before meeting her gaze directly. “What answer do you want, Shepard? You know what I am, you know what you could be. After this mission, if it goes well, it may be the beginning of a few more missions together.” Nihlus paused considering his next words carefully. “It also could be that we won’t be seeing each other for weeks or months at a time. But if this isn’t just a good night to you—if you want more—then tell me. Because I need to know if that’s enough for you. Is that what you want?”

    Shepard held his gaze, considering his words carefully. Then, after a moment, she exhaled, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. “I think there might be something here, Nihlus. But neither of us is in a place to change our lives for it, to make decisions based on one night, as good as it may have been, not yet. Maybe we just see where this goes, see if we still want to find each other the next time we’re in the same part of the galaxy.”

    She reached up, fingers tracing the edge of his jaw, a deliberate reassurance. “Every few weeks, every few months… I can do that, if you can.”

    Nihlus hesitated, his mandibles twitching in thought. A part of him questioned whether this was fair—to her, to himself. The life of a Spectre was never predictable, never stable. But as he looked at Shepard, at the quiet certainty in her eyes, the conflict inside him began to settle.

    He exhaled, then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, letting himself choose. “I’m willing to try. If this works, if we keep finding each other out there… then we’ll know.” His voice was steady now, conviction replacing hesitation. “And if it doesn’t, at least I won’t have to regret giving up before we had a chance.”

    Shepard smiled, her lips meeting his again. Nihlus tightened his grip on her briefly, more determined now. The doubts that lingered now weren’t about his choice but about how this would play out.

    When she finally pulled back, her eyes were bright with challenge. Shepard smirked. “Alright then, Spectre. Now, how exactly do you plan on getting out of here without the whole ship noticing?”

    Nihlus exhaled, his mandibles twitching. “Stealth is part of my skill set.”

    “Great, let’s see it in action.” Shepard slid out of bed, pulling on her tank top and shorts before cracking the door open just enough to peek out. “We’re clear for now. Let’s move.”

    Nihlus followed her lead, slipping out silently, but before they could take more than a few steps, a voice from behind made them both freeze.

    “I’d advise against stepping out just yet,” came the calm, knowing tone of Dr. Chakwas.

    Shepard turned slowly to find the doctor leaning against the doorway to the med bay, arms crossed, one brow raised.

    “Doctor,” Shepard greeted, keeping her expression neutral. “Fancy seeing you up this early.”

    “Mmhmm,” Chakwas hummed, the corners of her lips twitching. “Lieutenant Alenko just walked past not a moment ago. Give it a minute.”

    Nihlus shot Shepard a look, his stance still composed, but there was an unmistakable tension in his shoulders. Shepard, meanwhile, just grinned, completely unfazed.

    “What’s wrong, Spectre?” she teased in a whisper. “I thought sneaking around was part of the job.”

    He huffed but said nothing as they waited. Chakwas watched them with a quiet sort of amusement before checking the hallway. “Alright, coast is clear. Best get moving before anyone else stumbles by.”

    Shepard gave her a nod of gratitude, but before she could step away, Chakwas spoke again, this time addressing them both. “Come see me later for a checkup, both of you. Though probably not together.”

    Shepard and Nihlus exchanged a look, both of them equally confused. Shepard was the first to ask, “Uh, why?”

    “Because,” Chakwas said smoothly, “cross-species encounters sometimes have unforeseen allergic reactions, and I’d rather not find either of you in medical later because you ignored them. That goes for you too, Spectre. Before you ask, I trained in turian physiology as well.”

    Nihlus arched a brow plate. “Should we be concerned?”

    Chakwas gave them a dry smile. “Probably not, if you’ve made it this far. But come see me before your next mission. Just in case.”

    Nihlus let out a slow exhale, shaking his head as he followed Shepard down the hall. “You have a very complicated biology. Should I be worried?”

    Shepard just chuckled, shaking her head as she nudged him toward the elevator. “Not unless you were planning on killing me with your charm.”

    Nihlus exhaled, rolling his shoulders before stepping inside. His mandibles twitched slightly as he gave her a lingering look, something unreadable passing through his expression. “I’ll keep that in mind.”


    Shepard

    Shepard stayed by the door, arms crossed over her tank top, watching as the elevator doors slid shut between them. Instead of heading back to her quarters, she glanced toward the med bay. It was early enough that most of the crew wouldn’t be up yet, and if anyone saw her, they wouldn’t question her state of dress in medical. With a quiet sigh, she adjusted her tank top and made her way toward the med bay, figuring she might as well get this checkup over with now rather than later.

    She stepped into the med bay, the quiet hum of machinery filling the air as Dr. Chakwas glanced up from her workstation. The doctor didn’t say anything at first, merely gave Shepard a knowing look—the kind that said she didn’t need to voice her questions because she already knew the answers.

    With a sigh, Shepard crossed her arms, leaning against the examination table. “Just go ahead and say it, Doc.”

    Chakwas smirked, tapping a few notes into her datapad before turning to face her fully. “Oh, I don’t need to say anything, Commander. Your presence here at this hour says plenty.”

    Shepard huffed a quiet laugh, shaking her head. “You’re not wrong.”

    “I do recall you being somewhat uncomfortable when Nihlus was first assigned to the Normandy,” Chakwas continued, her tone light, but her gaze sharp with curiosity. “And yet here we are.”

    Shepard exhaled slowly, running a hand through her still-messy hair. “I don’t know exactly how or when it happened. But …At first, I figured it’d be nothing more than a good night—fun while it lasted, then move on. But… it doesn’t feel like that’s what he wants.”

    Chakwas watched her for a moment before asking, “And what do you want, Shepard?”

    Shepard didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she let the question settle, rolling it over in her mind as she stared absently at the floor. She had never been one to get caught up in uncertain emotions, never one to dwell too long on what-ifs. But this was different. He was different.

    Finally, she looked back up at Chakwas, her voice quieter but sure. “I don’t know. I, honestly, wasn’t expecting this. It’s…been a while.”

    Chakwas nodded, her expression thoughtful. “Then I suppose the real question is—what do you do with that, Commander?”

    Shepard didn’t have an answer yet. But she knew one thing for certain.

    She needed to find out.

    Chakwas turned back to her console, pulling up Shepard’s medical records with a few quick taps on the screen. “Well, since you’re here, I might as well check if there’s anything to be concerned about,” she murmured, scanning through the data. Her brow furrowed slightly as she scrolled. “Hm. You’ve got a long history of dextro allergy treatments. Since childhood, it looks like.”

    Shepard nodded, unsurprised. “Yeah. My father—well, the man who raised me—he’s a turian. It started as a precaution, just in case. Cross-contamination, accidental ingestion, even just from being around him so much.”

    Chakwas arched an eyebrow but smiled slightly. “That explains a lot. And from what I can see here, you’ve been regularly monitored over the years. Your system should be well adapted by now. I don’t see anything that would cause concern.”

    Shepard exhaled, feeling a weight she hadn’t realized she was carrying lift slightly. “Good to know.”

    She hopped off the table and made her way out of the med bay, her thoughts lingering on Nihlus as she walked towards her quarters. She wasn’t quite sure what had just happened—what any of this meant. Had she missed him these past few days? Had she gone looking for him, hoping for this? She didn’t know. But she couldn’t deny the attraction, the way they worked well together—on the field, in a fight, and now, in ways she hadn’t expected.

    She knew turians were comfortable ‘blowing off steam’ casually, but this had felt like more. And that unsettled her. She didn’t do easy. She didn’t fall into something without thinking, and yet here she was, thinking about him, replaying every touch, every hesitation, every choice they’d made the night before. She’d known other partners for months—years—before ever considering something like this. With Nihlus it had been what, a few weeks? A handful of sparring matches and late-night conversations?

    She stepped into her quarters, letting the door slide shut behind her. Crossing the room, she sat on the edge of her bed, rubbing a hand over her face. Meeting once every few weeks or months wouldn’t tell them much beyond what they already knew. They could share meals, share nights, but would that ever be enough to truly know if this was something real? Or was she holding onto the idea of something, rather than what was possible?

    She sighed, running a hand through her hair before leaning back against the mattress. She didn’t have the answers yet. But she knew one thing—she wasn’t ready to let this go just yet.


    Nihlus

    Nihlus sat in the dimly lit cargo bay, alone with his thoughts, his rifle in hand as he methodically checked each component. His mind, however, was elsewhere.

    He had told Shepard he was willing to try. He had meant it. But now, in the quiet solitude of the ship, the weight of what that meant settled heavily on him. He didn’t know what came next. If her candidacy would be approved. If they’d work together or be sent to opposite ends of the galaxy. The life of a Spectre was never predictable. And yet, for the first time in years, he wanted to find out—wanted to see where this led.

    That simple truth unsettled him more than he cared to admit.

    He had always followed his instincts, made his own choices. But he had never been beholden to anything—or anyone—beyond the mission. And yet, here he was, thinking about a woman he shouldn’t be thinking about. Wondering how long it would be before he saw her again. Wondering if he’d even get the chance.

    He exhaled slowly, shaking his head. No. Focus.

    But the longer he sat there, the more his mind refused to let it go. Shepard wasn’t just anyone. He had seen it firsthand—the way she carried herself, the way she commanded respect without demanding it. The way she trusted him without hesitation. She was something rare. And that meant this—whatever this was—was worth figuring out.

    “You’re the one thinking too hard.”

    She was right. He was. He didn’t need to have all the answers right now. But he also didn’t need to waste the time they had.

    Setting his rifle aside, Nihlus stood and made his way through the ship, his movements instinctively quiet. He found her easily enough, just as he had suspected—alone, sitting near the observation port in the lower deck, watching the endless stretch of space beyond. She wasn’t in uniform, just a tank top and loose pants, relaxed but not unaware. She had known he was coming before he even stepped into the room.

    “Couldn’t sleep?” she asked without looking away from the viewport.

    “Something like that,” he admitted, stepping closer. “And you?”

    Shepard smirked faintly. “You’ve known me long enough to know the answer to that.”

    He huffed in amusement, crossing his arms as he leaned against the nearby bulkhead. “You’re right. I was just being polite.”

    A comfortable silence stretched between them for a moment, the quiet hum of the Normandy the only sound. Then, finally, Shepard turned her gaze toward him, studying him in that way that made him feel like she could see more than he intended.

    “You thinking about tomorrow?” she asked.

    He hesitated, then nodded. “Among other things.”

    She nodded, as if she already knew. “Big mission.”

    “It should be routine,” he said, though something in his tone suggested he wasn’t entirely convinced.

    She didn’t argue. She understood that instinct as well as he did—the feeling that something was coming, even when you couldn’t name it.

    “But I meant what I said, Shepard,” he continued, voice quieter now. “This wasn’t just a distraction. I don’t know what happens next, but I know I don’t want this to be the last time.”

    Shepard considered that for a moment, then leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. “Then I guess we’ll just have to make sure it’s not.”

    Something in his chest eased at that—her certainty, her willingness to meet him halfway.

    Shepard studied him for another long moment before she finally pushed off the wall, stepping closer. “Then don’t waste time brooding, Spectre. You’re here now.”

    Nihlus huffed a quiet laugh. “You always this direct?”

    “Only when I don’t feel like wasting time either.”

    He didn’t question it. Didn’t hesitate. Instead, he closed the distance between them, letting himself take this moment—not because it might be their last, but because it was theirs to take.


    Joker

    Shepard stepped onto the bridge, her footsteps light but confident, and leaned against the angled housing of the helm like she’d been doing it for years. Joker didn’t even have to turn his head—he’d clocked her the second she came within ten feet.

    “Well, don’t you look rested, Commander,” he said without missing a beat, smirk already in place.

    She rolled her eyes and exhaled through her nose, clearly amused. “Don’t miss much, do you, Joker?”

    He shrugged, fingers dancing over the console. “You realize I’m stuck in this chair all day, right? Man needs hobbies.”

    She chuckled, shaking her head. “How are we looking?”

    “Good. ETA to the relay’s about thirty minutes.” He glanced back at her, catching her silhouette against the soft glow of the bridge lights. “So… that’s it? You’re really just gonna leave it there?”

    “Leave what there?”

    He raised an eyebrow. “Commander. Shepard. A turian. I mean, can humans and turians even…?”

    She groaned, rubbing her temples as if he were the headache. “Tell me, Joker. What about you?”

    He blinked. “What about me?”

    “Well, if we’re talking about my love life…”

    “Ha! You’re funny, Shepard.” He gestured toward his own chest, exaggerated for emphasis. “You do realize I could break a bone just kissing you, right?”

    At that, her eyebrow rose and the corner of her mouth quirked. “Me?”

    Damn it, Moreau.

    He fumbled for a second, then recovered. “You know what I mean. Anyone.”

    “So you’re saying you’ve never had a girlfriend before?”

    He scoffed. “No, I have. Just… none with shoulder blades that could cut through steel. Or you know, claws.”

    She laughed, the sound warm and low, then settled in more comfortably beside him. “So…?”

    Joker blinked. “Wait, we’re doing this now? Childhood crushes?”

    “Hey, you started it.”

    He grinned, kicking back slightly in his chair. “Alright, fine. There was a girl in middle school, used to draw dinosaurs all over her notebooks. I was obsessed. Thought she was the coolest person alive.”

    “What happened?”

    “She moved. I cried into a pizza.”

    She laughed again—real, easy. They kept going like that, trading harmless stories: awkward school dances, badly written love notes, Joker’s brief but passionate crush on a girl who beat him at chess, Shepard’s regrettable flirtation with a guy who claimed to “train with biotics,” but definitely did not.

    The minutes passed without them noticing.

    It wasn’t flirtation, not really. Just comfort. And Joker found himself relaxing in a way he hadn’t since before Nihlus stepped on board.

    He was about to ask her something—something only half serious about whether turian mandibles made kissing better or worse—when Kaidan stepped into the cockpit and came up short, clearly not expecting to find her here. Joker didn’t miss the flicker of surprise, the quick scan of the room, the way his eyes landed on Shepard beside him. The casual ease of her posture. The faint smile she hadn’t quite tucked away.

    Joker wasn’t delusional. Shepard wasn’t flirting with him. But Kaidan didn’t know that.

    And the way Kaidan looked between them?

    Yeah. Joker allowed himself a rare, private moment of smug satisfaction.

    She slept with a turian, Moreau. You never had a chance.

    Still felt kinda good, though.

    “Uh, Commander,” Kaidan said finally.

    “Kaidan.” She acknowledged him with a nod but didn’t move.

    Then Nihlus entered.

    The Spectre’s stride was confident, sharp, and—for once—just a little caught off guard. Joker didn’t miss the subtle pause when Nihlus saw Shepard seated next to him. Nor the way his mandibles twitched as he looked between her and him before stepping forward.

    “Coming up on the relay, Commander,” Joker said, turning toward her.

    Shepard stood, the transformation immediate. She slipped back into command like slipping into armor, her stance sharpening, her voice calm and clear. “Comms open. Ship’s yours, Joker.”

    Joker straightened in his seat, hands flying across the console.

    “The Arcturus Prime relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence.”

    “We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination.”

    “The relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector.”

    “All stations secure for transit.”

    “The board is green. Approach run has begun.”

    He felt it before he said it—that familiar hum of energy, the barely-contained roar of the relay’s mass effect fields building to launch. Every time, it gave him a rush.

    “Hitting the relay in three… two… one…”

    Light flared. Space folded. And then—

    “Thrusters… check. Navigation… check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift… just under fifteen hundred K.”

    Nihlus nodded. “Fifteen hundred is good. Your captain will be pleased.”

    And just like that, he turned to leave.

    Joker glanced up just in time to catch the look Shepard gave the Spectre—something that landed somewhere between amused and annoyed. She muttered something too low for Joker to catch.

    But Nihlus caught it. He paused, turning back slightly to glance at her—and for just a second, something passed between them. Something private. Something that made Joker suddenly feel like he was intruding on a conversation he couldn’t hear.

    Then Nihlus was gone.

    Joker let out a breath. “I hate that guy.”

    Kaidan didn’t even look up from his console. “Nihlus gave you a compliment. So you hate him?”

    “You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom? That’s good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. That’s incredible.”

    Kaidan shook his head.

    “Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don’t like having him on board. Call me paranoid.” Joker continued.

    “You’re paranoid,” Kaidan replied automatically. “The Council helped fund this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment.”

    Joker rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that is the official story. But only an idiot believes the official story.”

    Shepard sighed. “They don’t send Spectres on shakedown runs.”

    “So there’s more going on here than the captain’s letting on.” Joker added.

    Before she could respond, Anderson’s voice crackled over the comms. “Joker. Status report.”

    Joker snapped upright. “Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid.”

    “Good. Find a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime.”

    Joker smiled to himself. The captain sounded pleased. “Aye aye, Captain.”

    A beat passed.

    “Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way.”

    “He’s already here, Lieutenant,” Anderson snapped. “Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing.”

    The comm went silent.

    “And… you made him mad. Again,” Shepard said with a sigh, “You do realize it’s me pulling your ass out of the fire every time you annoy the captain?”

    There wasn’t any real heat in her voice—just that tired kind of affection people saved for friends who made their lives harder but more entertaining.

    Joker grinned. “Pfft. Don’t blame me. The captain’s always in a bad mood.”

    She shook her head, already stepping toward the exit. No real frustration in her voice—just that familiar edge, the one that said she’d cover for him again, like always. Not because she had to. Because she chose to.

    That thought stuck in his throat a little.

    “Hey, Commander?” he called after her, quieter this time.

    She paused, turning just enough to glance back over her shoulder.

    Kaidan looked up too—still sitting in the co-pilot’s seat, probably still wondering what the hell he’d walked in on.

    Joker ignored him. Focused on her.

    “Thanks,” he said, a little more honest now. “And… good luck.”

    She gave him a small, appreciative smile and nodded as she turned, her footsteps fading down the corridor.

    Joker turned back to the console, letting the silence of the bridge settle again. But Kaidan didn’t move. He was still staring at him.

    Kaidan shifted beside him, clearly trying to act casual. He failed.

    “…Something on your mind, Alenko?”

    Kaidan hesitated. Then, awkwardly, “Is… is there something going on between you two?”

    Joker laughed, shaking his head as he motioned toward himself. “Breadstick, remember?”

    Me and her? Never going to happen.

    He knew that. She wasn’t just out of his league—she wasn’t even playing the same sport.

    With that he turned to his console. They may never be more than friends but if Joker was honest with himself, that was more than enough. He could see Shepard wasn’t just another ordinary soldier or commanding officer. And he was beginning to realize she might just be worth following.


    Nihlus

    Nihlus stood in the comm room, arms crossed, waiting for her. He had been up for hours, unable to shake the unease that had settled in his gut since the moment they had set course for Eden Prime. It should have been a routine mission—but something about it wasn’t. The tension in the room was thick, pressing against him like an unseen force. And now this…whatever that was in the cockpit.

    He barely registered when Shepard stepped in, her movements as precise and confident as ever. She came to a stop beside him, posture straight, expression unreadable.

    “He deserves better than a participation trophy?” Nihlus pressed, the words coming out more sharp than he intended.

    She didn’t even blink. “He’s the best pilot in the Alliance fleet.”

    He scoffed. “And plenty of turians, asari, and even hanar can hit a relay. I hardly see why your pilot needs a reward.”

    “Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Spectre.” Her tone was light, but her gaze wasn’t. There was frustration there—real frustration—and he could see it wasn’t just about Joker.

    He opted to move on. He wasn’t jealous. Was he?

    “I’m interested in this world we’re going to. Eden Prime. What can you tell me about it?”

    Shepard’s expression shifted—something cooled behind her eyes. “Nihlus.” Her voice was quieter now. Calmer. The kind of calm that preceded storms. “You want to tell me what’s really going on? You don’t need me to answer that, and we both know you’ve been keeping me in the dark about more than the Spectre candidacy.”

    Nihlus felt the words land like a punch. He could hear the betrayal beneath the professionalism, the edge of something sharper she was holding back. He suddenly regretted not having told her the rest. Not last night. Not this morning. Not ever.

    Before he could answer, Anderson walked back in. He glanced between them, reading the tension immediately, then turned to Nihlus. “I think it’s about time we told the Commander what’s really going on.”

    Nihlus met his stare without hesitation. “She already knows. Some of it.”

    Shepard’s gaze snapped to his, her jaw tightening almost imperceptibly. “Some of it?”

    Anderson’s expression didn’t change, but something flickered behind his eyes—understanding, maybe recognition. He studied Nihlus for just a beat longer than necessary, and in that silence, Nihlus knew Anderson had already pieced together what had happened between them. But the Captain said nothing, only nodding once before shifting gears.

    “We’re making a covert pick-up on Eden Prime,” Anderson said, his tone clipped, professional. “It’s why we needed the stealth systems operational.”

    Shepard’s hands flexed once at her sides—brief, controlled—before going still again. “There must be a reason you didn’t tell me about this, sir.” Her voice was perfectly level. Too level. The kind of tone that meant she was working very hard to keep it that way.

    Anderson’s jaw tightened. He didn’t quite meet her eyes. “This comes down from the top, Commander. Information on a need-to-know basis only.”

    Nihlus watched her absorb that, watched the way her shoulders stayed rigid, the slight flare of her nostrils. She was angry—furious, maybe—but she was keeping it locked down so tightly he wondered if Anderson could even see it. But Nihlus could. He’d seen her unguarded. He knew what she looked like when she wasn’t performing.

    “What’s the payload, Captain?” The question was measured, each word precise.

    Anderson glanced at Nihlus, the look unmistakable: You didn’t tell her?

    Nihlus exhaled slowly, shifting his weight. He’d known this moment was coming. Didn’t make it easier. “The Alliance uncovered a Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. That’s why we’re here. The Council wants it secured and studied before it falls into the wrong hands.”

    For just a second—so brief he almost missed it—her eyes cut to him. Sharp. Accusatory. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to. The message was clear: You knew. This whole time, you knew.

    “Is that why you’re here, Nihlus?” Her voice was still carefully neutral, but there was steel beneath it now. “Are you expecting trouble?”

    “I’m always expecting trouble.” The words came out harder than he meant them to. Defensive.

    Joker’s voice broke through the comms, grim and urgent. “Captain, we’ve got a problem. Transmission from Eden Prime. You better see this.”

    The screen flickered to life, showing a shaky feed from a marine’s helmet cam. Weapons fire lit up the night, shadows moving chaotically through the smoke. The marine’s panicked voice crackled through the feed. “We’re under attack! Taking heavy casualties. Repeat, heavy casualties! Request immediate evac—”

    The video suddenly shifted, capturing a massive, alien ship against the sky. The shape was otherworldly, towering, with long spindly limbs stretching out like grasping fingers. The marine barely had time to react before the feed cut to static.

    Anderson let out a slow breath, his expression grim. “This mission just got a lot more complicated.”

    Shepard’s focus snapped back to the screen, her body shifting into a different mode entirely—mission mode. Whatever anger she’d been holding onto got filed away, locked down beneath layers of training and discipline. “We’re not dealing with pirates or mercs. Whatever that ship is, whatever’s on that beacon, someone wanted it badly enough to hit a major Alliance colony.”

    Nihlus felt a flicker of approval at how fast she’d shifted, how quickly she’d assessed the situation. But it was overshadowed by the unease still crawling beneath his skin, by the look she’d given him moments before. This mission had already become something else entirely.

    Anderson gave her a firm nod. “Gear up, Commander. You deploy in five.”

    Shepard exchanged a glance with Nihlus. No words. Just a look that carried weight—acknowledgment, maybe, or calculation. She nodded once before turning on her heel, making her way toward the cargo bay.

    As they arrived in the cargo bay, Nihlus adjusted his pistol, checking each component with practiced efficiency. But the weight pressing at the back of his mind wouldn’t ease. He turned to Shepard as she geared up beside him.

    “I’ll scout ahead.” This was what he was trained for, what he had always done—go first, clear the way, keep moving.

    Shepard paused, her hands stilling on her armor for just a moment. When she looked up at him, her expression was unreadable again—Commander Shepard, not the woman who’d fallen asleep against his chest. “Be careful. Stay on comms.”

    The words should have been routine. Standard operating procedure. But they weren’t. Not this time. There was something in the way she held his gaze, something that felt like a question she wasn’t asking.

    He wanted to say something—apologize for not telling her sooner, explain why he’d kept it from her, bridge the gap that had opened between them in the comm room. But the words wouldn’t come. Not here. Not now. Not with the mission hanging over them.

    So he just gave her one last look, memorizing the lines of her face, the set of her jaw, the way she was already shifting into combat readiness.

    For the first time in his life, Nihlus had a reason to come back.

    He stepped off the Normandy and disappeared into the unknown.

  • Chapter 3

    Nihlus

    The Normandy was silent, as Nihlus made his way through the corridors, his thoughts restless. He wasn’t sure what he was searching for until he stepped into the mess hall and found Shepard sitting at one of the tables, a plate of cookies and a glass of amber liquid in front of her—the smell of caramel, cinnamon, vanilla, and a hint of smoke hanging in the air.

    She wasn’t in uniform. Instead, she wore a simple tank top and shorts, her hair slightly tousled as though she’d just rolled out of bed. It was a side of her he hadn’t seen before, and for a moment, he paused in the doorway, unsure of whether to announce himself or leave her to her snack.

    She looked up, catching sight of him. Her brow quirked slightly, but she didn’t seem embarrassed. “Didn’t peg you as a late-night wanderer, Nihlus.”

    He stepped further into the room, his mandibles twitching slightly. “I could say the same for you, Shepard. Couldn’t sleep?”

    She shrugged, gesturing to the plate. “Figured a snack might help. What’s your excuse?”

    Nihlus pulled out a chair across from her, sitting down with his usual composed grace. “Thinking about the mission.” He paused, longer than he intended. “And you.”

    Her brows raised at that, but there was a teasing glint in her eye. “Me? I hope I’m not keeping you up at night, Spectre.”

    He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Not in the way you’re implying. I’ve been trying to figure you out, Shepard. You’re… not what I expected.”

    “Good or bad?” she asked, taking a bite of a cookie.

    “Good,” he admitted. “But surprising.”

    She smirked. “I’ll take it. Want a cookie? I have a stash of dextro ones. Can’t help with the drink. Didn’t get around to picking up my dad’s brandy yet.”

    Nihlus blinked, clearly caught off guard. “Why are there dextro cookies on a human ship?”

    Shepard shrugged, reaching for another cookie. “Picked them up for my father. He likes them.”

    He shook his head, leaning back slightly. “I’ll pass. But I am curious… is this part of your nightly routine? Cookies and…?”

    “Whiskey.” She chuckled, brushing crumbs from her fingers. “Only when sparring doesn’t do the trick.”

    Nihlus tilted his head, mandibles twitching in amusement. “So that’s it. When you’re not keeping yourself awake with cookies, you’re beating up punching bags?”

    “Or crew members,” she quipped, her grin widening. “Though you’re still my favorite sparring partner so far. I think Kaidan’s going to need a few more lessons before he catches up.”

    Nihlus scoffed, amused. “A few?”

    Shepard rolled her eyes, smirking. “Point taken.”

    “But I’m flattered,” Nihlus said, his tone dry. “You’re a pretty good sparring partner yourself, Shepard.”

    She leaned back in her chair, her demeanor growing more relaxed. “You know, you’ve got a way of sneaking up on people. First in the cargo bay, now here. I’m starting to think you’re keeping tabs on me.”

    Nihlus didn’t deny it. “You’re not wrong. I’ve been watching you, Shepard. As much as you may dislike being observed, it’s necessary.”

    “Necessary, huh?” she asked, her tone still light but with an edge of curiosity. “Because I’d make a good Spectre?”

    He hesitated, studying her carefully. This was an unguarded moment for her, and while he knew he should tread carefully, he also knew he might not get another chance like this.

    “Because I like to know who I’m on a mission with,” he said finally. “As a Spectre I find myself operating alone, more often than not. I need to know who I can trust and to what extent.”

    Her eyes narrowed slightly, not in suspicion but in thought. “Why are you here, Nihlus?”

    Nihlus hesitated for a moment before shaking his head slightly. “You have a habit of asking too many questions, Shepard.”

    Shepard leaned forward slightly, resting her arms on the table. “I don’t like being kept in the dark. I can’t protect my people if I don’t know what I’m getting into.”

    “A fair point,” Nihlus said, his mandibles twitching in what was the turian version of a smile. “I do as I’m told, Shepard. The Council needed a Spectre to oversee our upcoming mission.”

    Shepard seemed to consider that for a moment, her expression softening. “But you won’t tell me why.”

    “Not yet,” he replied.

    They sat in silence for a while after that, the hum of the ship filling the quiet space between them. Shepard finished her cookies, and Nihlus remained seated, watching her with a mix of curiosity and something else he couldn’t quite name.

    Finally, she stood, stretching slightly. “I should probably get back to bed before Joker stumbles in here looking for coffee. I don’t need the commentary.”

    Nihlus rose as well, giving her a respectful nod. “Goodnight, Shepard.”

    She paused at the door, glancing back at him with a small smile. “Goodnight, Nihlus.”

    He watched her leave, the lingering warmth of their conversation staying with him as he sat back down. Shepard was unguarded tonight, but even so, she remained an enigma. And for reasons he couldn’t quite explain, he found himself wanting to unravel her mystery even more.


    Shepard

    The mission had been simple enough on paper: investigate a suspected terrorist facility on a remote colony in the Verge. But nothing was ever simple. She should have known better.

    The firefight that broke out shortly after their arrival had left her and Nihlus pinned down in a crumbling structure while Kaidan and the rest of the team retreated to the extraction point. As if the ground situation wasn’t bad enough, an enemy ship had appeared in orbit, forcing the Normandy to break off and engage.

    “Shepard, Nihlus, find cover and hunker down,” Anderson’s voice came through the comms, strained but firm. “We’ll be back as soon as we shake this ship. Hold tight.”

    The line went dead.

    Shepard exhaled slowly, checking her rifle. The distant sound of gunfire faded as the team fell back. Just her and Nihlus now, crouched behind what little cover the ruins provided.

    “Well,” she said, glancing at him. “That complicates things.”

    Nihlus shifted his position, rifle resting on his knee as he surveyed the area. “I’ve been in worse situations. I’m sure you have as well.” His mandibles twitched slightly. “The important thing is staying out of sight. They’ll come back for us.”

    She nodded, though her shoulders stayed tight. “Still, being stranded without support isn’t exactly ideal.”

    “Do you always understate the obvious?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

    Despite herself, she huffed a laugh. “Keeps morale up. You should try it sometime.”

    His mandibles flared slightly—the turian equivalent of a smirk, she’d learned. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

    They moved cautiously through the ruins, keeping low, sticking to shadows. The facility’s skeletal remains offered minimal shelter, but they found a partially intact building that would work. She secured the entrances while he scouted for signs of pursuit.

    “Clear for now,” he reported, settling into a corner where he could keep an eye on the approach. “But these terrorists won’t stay away for long. They know we’re here.”

    Shepard sat down on an overturned crate, her sniper rifle resting across her lap. “We’ll deal with them if they show up. Until then, we wait.”

    Silence settled between them, broken only by distant wind through the ruins. Her eyes kept moving—corners, exits, shadows. Not that it would help. Just habit.

    Every so often she caught Nihlus watching her. Not the evaluating stare he’d given her in the cargo bay, something else. Quieter.

    “You don’t sit still easily, do you?” he observed.

    She glanced at him, raising a brow. “Is that your professional evaluation?”

    “An observation,” he corrected. “You’re restless. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s noticeable.”

    He was right. She was restless…But why…?

    She shrugged, leaning back slightly. “Maybe I just didn’t see the mission going this way. Stranded behind enemy lines with a Spectre.”

    “Find me too intimidating?” Nihlus asked, voice tinged with humor.

    She laughed, genuinely. “Hardly. You ever met my father?”

    That seemed to catch him off guard, but he just shook his head. “Can’t say I’ve had the honor. I imagine he would be intimidating from what I’ve heard.”

    She thought about it for a second before responding. “Truthfully? Not to me I suppose.” she paused, “But it’s not hard to see why other people find him intimidating. Though try sparring with him…that’s nerve wracking and terrifying at the same time.”

    Nihlus nodded, acknowledging the thought but didn’t respond. Just turned to scan the horizon.

    After a while, he shifted again and spoke, his tone a little more relaxed. “This reminds me of a mission I had years ago. Outer colonies. Batarian extremists. We were pinned down—two men down already—and my partner at the time, older turian, disciplined, told me to wait. I thought he was wrong. Hated it.”

    She looked over, genuinely curious now. It was the first time he’d offered anything real. Not performance. Not formality. Just him.

    “And?” she prompted.

    Nihlus exhaled slowly. “He was right. We waited long enough for the enemy to think we’d pulled out. They got sloppy. That’s when we turned it around.”

    She nodded once. “Sometimes waiting’s the best move.”

    They fell into an easy rhythm after that—trading stories, small observations, the kind of conversation that filled space without demanding anything. Hours passed. She sat cross-legged against the wall, occasionally checking the readings on her omni-tool.

    She found herself studying him when he wasn’t looking. The way he held himself—confident without arrogance, alert without tension. He moved like someone who’d earned his reputation rather than hidden behind it. And he didn’t carry the resentment so many turians seemed to have toward humans. Toward her, at least.

    Actually, the opposite.

    It was easy, being around him. Easier than it should be. With Joker, she could relax some—he didn’t stand on protocol, didn’t treat her like she was untouchable—but he was still her pilot. Still part of her crew. Nihlus wasn’t. There was no command structure between them, no hierarchy to navigate.

    Just… them.

    “You know,” she said, not quite looking at him, “this isn’t the worst way to spend a day.”

    His head turned slightly. “How do you figure?”

    She gestured vaguely at the ruins around them. “No bureaucracy. No mission reports. No politics. Just two people waiting it out.”

    He considered that, mandibles shifting thoughtfully. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

    She finally met his gaze. “Sometimes it’s nice to just exist, you know? No expectations. No roles to play.”

    For a moment, he just looked at her. Not evaluating. Not analyzing. Just… looking. It made something flutter in her chest—uncomfortable and not unwelcome at the same time.

    “You’re different when you’re not leading,” he said quietly. “Less guarded.”

    She huffed a soft laugh, leaning her head back against the wall. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it, Spectre.”

    “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, but his tone was lighter now. Warmer.

    And there it was again—that look. Like he was trying to figure her out, the same way she kept trying to read him. The space between them felt smaller somehow, though neither of them had moved.

    If she was honest, he made her a little nervous. Not the way an enemy did, or the way a superior officer could. Something else entirely.

    Dawn crept across the horizon, pale light filtering through the broken walls. Their comms crackled to life.

    “Shepard, Nihlus, we’re inbound. Be ready for extraction in fifteen.”

    Anderson’s voice broke whatever spell had settled over them. Shepard stretched, rolling her shoulders as she stood. “Well, Spectre, looks like you’ll survive another day.”

    Nihlus rose, rifle in hand. “Thanks to your stellar company, Commander.”

    She shot him a grin. “Let’s get out of here.”

    They moved through the ruins together, falling into the practiced rhythm of two people who knew how to move in sync. But her mind kept circling back to the hours they’d just spent—the ease of it, the lack of performance, the way she hadn’t wanted it to end when Anderson’s voice came through.

    She didn’t know what it meant. Wasn’t ready to examine it too closely.

    But she knew one thing: being stranded behind enemy lines with Nihlus had felt different than it would have with anyone else.

    And that realization made her more uneasy than the firefight had.


    Shepard

    The Normandy was quiet, save for the low hum of the drive core in engineering. It cast a soft, steady glow over the room, reflecting on the walls around her as she leaned against the railing, arms crossed.

    She’d come here out of habit—looking for something constant, something that didn’t shift beneath her feet the way everything else seemed to lately. The mission should have been straightforward. Get in, complete the objective, get out. Instead, she’d spent hours in those ruins with Nihlus, and now she couldn’t stop replaying it. The ease of it. The way her guard had dropped without her meaning to let it.

    It unsettled her more than the firefight had.

    She heard him before she saw him—footsteps, light but deliberate. Of course it was him.

    “Spectre,” she greeted, not looking back.

    “Commander.” Nihlus came to stand beside her, resting his hands against the railing as he gazed at the drive core. For a moment, neither spoke. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was weighted, filled with things neither had said yet.

    “You always come down here after missions?” he finally asked, breaking the quiet.

    Shepard smirked slightly. “Something like that.”

    Nihlus tilted his head slightly, studying her. “You don’t seem like someone who enjoys sitting still.”

    She gave a small chuckle, her fingers drumming lightly on the metal railing. “It’s not that. It’s hard to be still when you’re in command. Always something that needs attention. Someone who needs orders.”

    “But you didn’t seem to have a problem down there.”

    Shepard finally turned her head, eyes meeting his. It wasn’t an accusation, just an observation, but it made her pause. Made her chest tighten just slightly.

    “I’m not your commanding officer,” she said quietly. “And I don’t report to you.”

    The words felt more significant than they should have. An admission of something she hadn’t fully examined yet.

    Nihlus turned slightly toward her, mandibles twitching in thought. “Did you mean it? When you said it wasn’t the worst way to spend a day?”

    Shepard huffed a soft laugh, shaking her head. “You don’t let things go, do you?”

    “Not when I want to understand something,” he admitted, his tone calm but insistent.

    She considered dodging the question. It would be easy—deflect with humor, change the subject, retreat behind the armor of command. But something in the way he was watching her made it difficult. He wasn’t just asking for the sake of it—he genuinely wanted to know. Maybe because he was trying to figure out his own thoughts. Maybe because he wanted to know where she stood.

    Maybe both.

    “I guess it was just… different,” she said finally, her voice quieter than she’d intended. “No chain of command. No battlefield. No mission parameters.” She exhaled slowly. “Just waiting. With someone I trust.”

    The words slipped out before she could stop them, and for a moment, she froze. Trust wasn’t something she gave easily—Selvek had taught her that. Had drilled into her the importance of knowing who stood at your back, of understanding motives, of never being careless with that kind of faith.

    But she didn’t regret saying it. Didn’t look away.

    Nihlus held her gaze, his expression unreadable at first. Something shifted in his eyes—understanding, maybe, or recognition. Then, slowly, his mandibles twitched slightly, the closest thing to a smile she’d seen from him in a while.

    “That’s not nothing,” he said quietly.

    Her throat felt tight. “No,” she agreed, voice steady despite the flutter in her chest. “It’s not.”

    For a moment, they simply stood there, the hum of the drive core filling the space between them. The words had been spoken, laid bare between them like an offering. Neither pushed further. Not yet. But the air felt different now—charged with something unspoken, something neither of them seemed quite ready to name.

    She could feel the heat of him beside her, close enough that if she shifted her weight, their arms would brush. Part of her wanted to. Part of her wanted to see what would happen if she did.

    Instead, she broke the moment, smirking as she nudged him slightly with her elbow. “You gonna make a habit of watching me, Spectre?”

    Nihlus exhaled a quiet chuckle, and she could hear the relief in it—the same deflection she was doing. “Would it bother you if I did?”

    She thought about that for a moment, genuinely considering. “No,” she admitted. “But I might start charging you for it.”

    He huffed in amusement, straightening slightly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

    Shepard turned back toward the core, her posture just a little more relaxed than it had been when he’d arrived. Nihlus lingered beside her a moment longer, and she could feel him hesitating. Like there was something else he wanted to say but couldn’t quite find the words for.

    But then he nodded once and stepped away. “Goodnight, Shepard.”

    She almost asked him to stay.

    Almost.

    She didn’t turn, but she tracked the sound of his footsteps. “Goodnight, Nihlus.”

    The silence after he left felt heavier than it had before. She stayed there, staring at the drive core, trying to understand why her chest felt tight, why the space beside her suddenly felt too empty.

    She’d told him she trusted him. Had said it out loud, made it real. And he hadn’t dismissed it, hadn’t treated it lightly.

    “That’s not nothing.”

    No. It wasn’t.

    And the realization that she’d wanted him to stay—that she’d had to stop herself from asking—unsettled her more than anything that had happened in those ruins.

    Because it meant this was becoming something.

    And she had no idea what to do with that.


    Nihlus

    Nihlus sat alone in the crew quarters, a datapad in his hands, though his focus had long since drifted away from the mission reports displayed on its screen. His mandibles twitched slightly in thought, his mind replaying the conversation with Shepard in engineering. Trust. It wasn’t an unfamiliar concept to him, but it was rare that he extended it so easily to someone outside the Spectres. Even rarer that he caught himself wanting to.

    The way she had said it—with someone I trust—lingered in his thoughts. It wasn’t a confession, but it carried weight. Something unspoken. Something he wasn’t sure he had the time or the place to understand.

    The sound of approaching footsteps broke his reverie. He glanced up as Anderson stepped inside, his presence steady, familiar. The Captain studied him for a moment before crossing his arms.

    “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Commander Shepard,” Anderson noted, his tone neutral but laced with something that wasn’t quite amusement, nor was it a warning.

    Nihlus set the datapad down, tilting his head slightly. “Is that a problem, Captain? I am here to evaluate her.”

    Anderson exhaled, shaking his head. “Not unless it becomes one.” He took a seat across from Nihlus, resting his forearms on the table. “Shepard’s… different. She’s been through more than most, and she’s got a tendency to keep things close to her chest. But when she does let someone in, it means something.”

    Nihlus nodded slightly. “I’ve noticed.”

    Anderson studied him for a moment longer before leaning back. “She’s mentioned you. More than once.”

    That caught Nihlus’ attention, though he kept his expression carefully unreadable. “And?”

    “And,” Anderson said, watching him closely, “there’s something in the way she talks about you. A weight to it. Not something I’ve heard from her before.”

    Nihlus hesitated. He hadn’t considered how this might look from the outside, hadn’t thought about how others might perceive his interactions with Shepard. He was evaluating her—that was his duty. But was that all?

    Anderson gave a knowing smirk. “I’m not here to tell you what to do, Spectre. But I will say this—Shepard’s not one to get attached easily. I know her. I know her family. And I’d be careful if I were you.”

    Nihlus let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “I don’t think careful is the right word for any of this.”

    Anderson chuckled as well, standing up. “Fair enough. Just don’t get so caught up in something that you forget what’s coming next.”

    Nihlus nodded as Anderson left the room, but the words lingered.

    What’s coming next.

    He should be thinking about the mission. About Shepard’s performance in the field, her tactical decisions, her leadership under pressure. That was why he was here. That was his duty.

    But Anderson’s words had cut through that justification cleanly.

    There’s something in the way she talks about you.

    Nihlus exhaled slowly, his hand tightening briefly on the datapad before he set it aside. This was exactly the kind of complication he couldn’t afford. Not now. Not when the Council was watching, when his recommendation would carry weight, when everything needed to be clear and objective.

    He’d spent years operating alone, trusting his judgment, keeping things simple. No attachments. No complications. It was easier that way. Cleaner.

    And yet.

    He could still hear her voice in engineering. With someone I trust. The way she’d looked at him when she said it—open, vulnerable in a way he suspected she rarely allowed herself to be. The weight of that admission, the fact that she’d given it to him freely.

    He pushed the thought away.

    This was an evaluation. Nothing more. He would finish the mission, submit his report to the Council, and whatever came after would be decided by people far above both their pay grades. That was how it worked. That was how it had always worked.

    He just needed to maintain distance. Keep things professional. Remember why he was here.

    It shouldn’t be difficult. He’d done harder things.

    So why did the thought of pulling back feel like the hardest thing he’d been asked to do in years?


    Nihlus

    The next few days aboard the Normandy were routine—too routine. Nihlus found himself pulling away, keeping his distance from Shepard where he could. He wasn’t avoiding her, not exactly, but he was conscious of how their interactions might be perceived. Anderson’s words lingered in his mind, and he wondered if the crew had already started to notice. If Shepard had noticed.

    If she did, she didn’t confront him about it.

    Then, late one evening, Shepard found him in the cargo bay, the familiar dim lighting casting long shadows across the floor. She stepped in with the easy confidence she always carried, though there was something else in her posture—something more deliberate.

    “Spectre,” she greeted, arms crossed. “Haven’t seen you around much. Starting to think you’re avoiding me.”

    Nihlus, who had been checking his gear, barely looked up. “Just keeping busy.”

    She tilted her head, studying him. “Is that a fact?” Her eyes narrowed slightly, her voice taking on a knowing edge. “Keeping busy with what, exactly?”

    He exhaled, setting his rifle aside and finally meeting her gaze. “Something on your mind, Shepard?”

    She didn’t answer immediately, instead glancing at the worn training mats off to the side. “Thought I’d get some sparring in. Figured I’d ask if you were interested.”

    Nihlus raised a brow plate. “You have an entire ship full of soldiers. I’m sure someone else could give you a decent match.”

    “Yeah, but you and I both know no one else would be much of a challenge.” Her lips quirked in a smirk. “Unless you’re worried I’ll knock you on your ass again.”

    His mandibles twitched. Damn her. He knew exactly what she was doing—challenging him, drawing him back in, making this seem like nothing more than a continuation of what had already happened between them. And maybe that was the problem. Maybe it wasn’t nothing.

    Still, he pushed himself to his feet. “Fine.”

    They moved onto the mats, slipping into familiar stances. It started as it did before—controlled, measured, testing defenses. But something felt different this time. The usual rhythm was there, but it carried an edge. A sharper focus. Their movements were closer, more aggressive, more deliberate.

    Shepard struck first, aiming a quick jab toward a weak point in his plating. Nihlus blocked it easily, but she was already shifting, using his movement against him to drive him back a step. She smirked. “You’re holding back.”

    He narrowed his eyes. “Just waiting for you to actually put up a fight.”

    Her grin widened. “Cocky. I like it.”

    They circled each other, tension thickening between them. Shepard pressed forward again, this time faster, forcing Nihlus to go on the defensive. She feinted left before pivoting sharply, trying to sweep his legs, but he dodged, grabbing her wrist and twisting to throw her off balance.

    She caught herself at the last second, using the momentum to pull him down with her. They hit the mat, a tangle of limbs and sharp breaths. Too close.

    Nihlus instinctively pinned her, one hand bracing her shoulder, the other gripping her wrist. For a second, neither of them moved. Their breathing was heavy, their bodies pressed together, muscles taut from the fight.

    Then, it shifted.

    The fight wasn’t the only thing between them anymore. There was heat, an unspoken question in the space between their faces. Shepard’s pulse raced beneath his fingertips. He could feel it—could feel her—and for the first time since meeting her, he let himself wonder.

    What if I don’t let this go?

    Shepard’s eyes flicked up to his, searching. She didn’t try to push him off. Didn’t break the tension. If anything, she held his gaze with something equally unreadable—something he wasn’t sure she was prepared for either.

    Nihlus inhaled slowly, his grip loosening. A choice. He had a choice.

    And then Shepard made it for him.

    Shepard didn’t hesitate. With a quiet, deliberate shift, she closed the space between them. Her fingers slid along the plating of his arm, anchoring them both to something unspoken—something real. Then, with a warmth that caught him completely off guard, she pressed her lips gently to the corner of his mouth.

    It wasn’t like anything he’d known. No hard clatter of mandibles, no armored tension. Just heat and softness and intent. Fragile, yes—but steady. Certain.

    Nihlus stilled.

    Her breath was warm against his skin, her pulse unmistakable beneath his hand—racing. And as he listened, he realized his own heartbeat had fallen into the same rhythm. Matched. Measured. Tethered.

    He loosened his grip at her wrist, talons trailing with quiet care along the line of her jaw. She didn’t flinch. If anything, she leaned into the touch, her skin soft against his armored palm. Inviting. Sure.

    He lowered his forehead to hers, the contact grounding them both. And in that moment, the gesture was more than ritual.

    It was surrender.

    And when she didn’t move, when she simply breathed and let him stay—he understood she felt it too.

    The spell held until her voice broke through, quiet but resolute.

    “Not here.”

    He nodded without a word. He didn’t need one. He stood, offering a hand to pull her up, but didn’t let go once she was on her feet. They stood there for a heartbeat longer, two soldiers catching their breath in the dark, before she turned toward the elevator.

    She didn’t look back until she reached the elevator—just far enough to give him the space to decide.

    He didn’t need it.

    He followed.


    Nihlus

    The walk to Shepard’s quarters was silent, but it wasn’t hesitant. There was a weight to each step, a purpose in the way she moved, glancing back at him only once as if to make sure he was still with her. He was.

    Nihlus wasn’t sure what to expect. Or maybe he was. Maybe the answer had been waiting there all along, ever since she had pressed that first challenge into his hands, ever since he had let himself trust her in ways he hadn’t trusted anyone in years. Maybe he had just been waiting for Shepard to decide.

    And she had.

    The doors slid shut behind them, sealing them in together. Shepard didn’t waste time with second-guessing. She stepped closer, her presence just as commanding here as it was on the battlefield, and her fingers found the plating at his waist, pulling him forward.

    His hands found her in return. Soft skin, warm beneath his touch—so different from anything he knew. He had spent days thinking, analyzing, keeping himself at careful distance. Now, with Shepard standing before him like this, all of that restraint felt like wasted effort.

    She met his eyes, quiet confidence settling in her expression. “You don’t have to overthink this,” she murmured, fingers tracing along the ridges of his jaw. “Just let it happen.”

    And so he did.

    The first touch was careful—learning unfamiliar territory. But Shepard made it easy, grounding him with her warmth, the steady pull of her hands guiding him into something neither of them needed to name. The differences between them were stark: soft skin against hard plates, the hitch in her breath when his talons traced over her back, the way his own breathing changed when her lips found the vulnerable plating at his throat.

    She was fire and intent, certainty where he had spent days caught in hesitation. She moved with purpose, never once letting him question what she wanted, what she was offering. He had spent his life making calculated choices, always anticipating consequences. But here, he let instinct take over. Let her teach him—how her fingers tightened against his plating when he found sensitive spots, how his name sounded different in her voice when she was this close.

    They found a rhythm that shouldn’t have worked but somehow did. By the time they lay tangled together in the dim light of her quarters, something between them had shifted. Irreversibly.

    Shepard lay against him, one arm draped across his chest, her breathing slow and even. The weight of her, the warmth of her skin against his plating, was unexpectedly comforting. He wasn’t used to this—not just intimacy, but the aftermath. The kind of closeness that lingered when the heat had faded.

    He let his talons trace idle patterns over her back as she drifted, relaxed and unguarded beside him. This was trust, he realized—not just in how she had let him touch her, but in how she had let herself fall asleep here, secure that he would still be there when she woke.

    For weeks, he had struggled to understand Selvek’s choice. Why a turian of that caliber—a soldier, a legend, someone who could have been Primarch—would choose a human mate. Would abandon everything he’d built for something so uncertain.

    Now, lying here with Shepard’s heartbeat steady against his chest, he understood.

    It wasn’t about species. It wasn’t about logic or what made sense on paper. It was about finding someone who made everything else—duty, reputation, the entire trajectory of a carefully planned life—seem suddenly negotiable. About realizing that some things couldn’t be weighed against career advancement or political positioning because they existed on a different scale entirely.

    Selvek had chosen love over the path to Primarch. Had walked away from everything turian society valued to build something new with Hannah Shepard.

    And in doing so, he had gained this: a daughter who carried both their strengths, who commanded respect across species lines, who was brilliant and brave and wholly herself.

    Nihlus’s hand stilled against Shepard’s back.

    He understood now. Understood what Selvek had seen, what he had been willing to sacrifice. The weight of that choice, and why it had been worth making.

    But understanding didn’t change the reality of his own situation.

    He would have to leave. Report to the Council. Recommend her candidacy or not. Move on to whatever came next.

    And Shepard—she would go wherever the Alliance sent her, wherever duty called.

    The warmth of her against him suddenly felt fragile. Temporary.

    He had finally found something worth keeping, and he had no idea how to hold onto it. Or if he should.